The Nice Thing about Falling Apart

The nice thing about falling apart is that you can pick up only the pieces you want. The process is more important than the destination. Falling apart may be the best way to be put together the way you truly were meant to be...

Our Boomerangs

Like boomerangs, our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with remarkable accuracy.

Today I learned about Florence Scovell Shinn, a spiritualist from the 1920's who wrote books like:
"The Game of Life and How to Play it"
"Words are your Wand"

Before I think, do or say, I should imagine what it would be like to receive what I am sending.

I can take it one step further by DECIDING first what I want to receive. Send that--deliberately say, give or cause in someone else's life, what I would like to experience NOW.

My hopes for my family:
MIKE - That he is always in the right place at the right time, and is divinely protected.

KARINA - That she has perfect expression. Let the Divine Design of her mind, body and relationships be manifest throughout her life, throughout eternity.

MASON - That he realizes that his word is his wand. That he is fully equipped for the Divine Plan of his life and that he can be fearless in grasping his opportunities and learn/do whatever is needed along the way.

TONIA - Let me see clearly my right path and Divine plan.

Appreciate, Be in Awe and Hope!

According to the latest book by renowned Stanford psychologist, Phil Zimbardo, each of us has three chances to be happy:

We can be happy about our past, about the present, and/or about our future. Some of us dwell more in one "time zone" than another. Those who are happiest with the past enhance that experience by appreciating and reliving the past events in their minds. Those who are happiest in the present, enhance the experience by being in awe of everyday miracles. Finally, those who are always looking to the future, can be ecstatic if focused on hoping for the best.

In any case, it helps to know that we have three chances at happiness. The best of all worlds is to be able to balance all three time zones and be happy in each and every one.
* I want to appreciate and relish my past experiences.
* I want to be in awe of what I am fortunate enough to experience right ow.
* I want to look forward to some fantastic experiences that I have yet to create!

Failure is just an Illusion

Karina is in Beijing watching (and helping at) the summer olympics. Watching the athletes break record after record in their quest for gold, I started thinking about the silver and bronze winners. I also thought about all of those athletes that made it to the Olympics but didn't place. Were they failures? No, of course not!

I now believe failure is impossible; it is an illusion. Nothing is a failure. Nothing. EVERYTHING I do moves me forward on my journey and evolution. Since it's up to me to decide what to do and to attribute meaning to my choices and memories, then it's up to me to define what is successful and helpful. I may make less effective choices, but it's akin to taking a side road instead of a super highway. The experiences afforded by that path will be different. Who is to say that they won't be just as transformative for me?

Now that's a freeing thought!

What do I choose now?

Last year, while Mason was busy turning down auditions in LA due to "High School Musical" and "Oklahoma" rehearsals, I promised him that he would have a shot at a summer in L.A.--but it would have to be Summer of 2008.

Well, here we are--Summer of 2008. His shot at LA has turned into two weeks at UCLA in a "Sitcom Writing and Producing" class taught by Myrl Schreibman and Jordan Moffet, both faculty of the School of Theater, Film and Television, (and cast from 2-1/2 men), followed by two weeks at the Oakwood Apartments where he'd have a chance to experience what it's like to be a teen actor in L.A.

In two weeks, he has:
* auditioned for the MOW (movie-of-the-week) remake of "Children of the Corn" for the role of "MALACHAI--a teen baddie.
* week of classes at Margie Haber's acting studio
* one coaching session with Bruce Ducat, acting coach
* one acting class with Constance Tillotson, an acting coach recommended by the Savage Agency
* gotten 4 new great headshots, photographed by J. Kay Bradford with the help of makeup artist/model John Coulter Carrillo.
* toured Sony-Columbia Tristar Studios' backlot where they were filming "Angels and Demons"
* toured Warner Brothers' backlot where they were filming "Pushing Daisies," "ER," and "Chuck." Saw the WB museum, including the Harry Potter exhibit.
* listened to 21 hours of J. K. Rowling's 7th book, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
* worked out the outline for our college admissions satire: Fat Envelopes
* watched "Tropic Thunder" to check out the kid who was finally booked the role of TRAN. Mason was greatly relieved to see that his own acting chops were much stronger than Soohoo's but that he really was, "too tall." (He had auditioned for Francine Maisler, the casting director three times.)

While the Savage Agency has not sent him out on a single audition during this period, Mason seems to have flourished from his acting lessons. This leads me to today's topic: asking "What do I choose now?" instead of asking "Why is this happening?" a question which can be second guessed in many ways, but not necessarily constructively:
* "Nothing's going on right now. It won't get busy until end of August." (Gail Rivard)
* 'He's too tall for the roles he's old enough to play. The roles for 17-18 year olds are all going to the "18 to play younger" actors.' Once he takes the CHSPE to be "legal 18" his auditions will triple.' (Bruce Ducat, Judy Savage)
* Not enough decent Asian parts" (Sung Kang)

It's better for Mason to figure out what he wants to do going forward. So far, he has decided to:
1. Take acting classes in the Bay Area. Right now, Bobby Weinapple's name is at the top of the list, but Bruce suggested that we contact Joan Spangler at LOOK for a list of names. Constance Tillotson is another possibility, if she starts a SF class.
2. He would like to go out for more jobs in SF. This means talking with Teri and Elena to compare notes on goals and possibilities. Then talking with FORD and LOOK or Wendy Yee if he wants. Gail is onboard to drop off headshots and make an introduction at FORD next time she goes in.
3. Hold off on VO demo reel. He needs to take some classes at VoiceOne if he is serious about this.
4. Focus on his sophomore year. He likes College Prep and wants to do well.
5. Possibly take a hip hop class, if he has time.

It's up to him to focus on what he wants to create and how he wants to move forward. He instructed me to forward posting to him before submitting him for anything--but that I should still keep my ear to the ground for bigger roles.

AS FOR ME, originally I thought I was here to serve Mason for two weeks: be his driver, social secretary, manager, etc. I realized after two studio tours that I was actually living out one of my childhood fantasies. I have always wanted to visit film backlots. I get so excited about being around the magic that creates new worlds and new experiences for people. I want to submerse myself in an environment that creates magic and illusion. Set designers, backdrop artists, foley artists, actors, directors--they all work together to create something out of nothing. It's truly magical!!! I love the creative process. Plus, this two week break gave me a chance to NOT occupy myself with any of the routine things waiting for me at home. I could go out to eat, watch tv (olympics), try Pinkberry's, see movies, go out with friends, write, sleep, exercise whenever I wanted! Well, almost. It was the closest to total independence and freedom since grad school! I love it!

So, "what do I choose now?" This requires reflection. Creation is the most "god-like" thing we do. It's not to be taken lightly. But it's our right and our responsibility. A trip to the Museum of Tolerance reiterated the message of personal responsibility for ridding social injustice. Whatever each of chooses to do, it is a matter of PERSONAL CHOICE. There are popular choices and unpopular choices. Sometimes those unpopular choices are unpleasant but necessary choices for personal growth.

In order to make my choice, I must consider:
1. It's up to me to decide.
2. My choices result in real consequences.
3. My choices result bring responsibilities.
4. I can practice on making small choices, then work my way up to big choices.

What confuses me:
1. What if I made a choice with consequences or responsibilities I no longer wish to bear? How long do I continue down that path?
2. What if I fail? can't complete what I chose to do? Is the path enough? For some reason, unless I've succeeded in accomplishing something, I feel like a fake. The process was not enough.

So what do I choose now?
I choose to be a good, compassionate and helpful human being.

that's it for today. I don't know if I'm ready to make any bigger choices today.

tch