How to make decisions

I have ALWAYS had a hard time making decisions. The only other person I know who has an even harder time, is my daughter, Karina. As a high school senior, she is at the crossroads of her first major life decision--where to attend college. At the start of April, she was over-the-moon happy about realizing that quality mattered more than brand to her. She eagerly sent in her $500 deposit to reserve her place at Claremont McKenna College. She drew up an elaborately detailed matrix of reasons for why she wanted to attend CMC over Georgetown University. In fact, her list of pros and cons reached nearly legendary proportions as other seniors facing similar dilemmas, facebooked her to see her list. Then days away from the May 1 official notification date, she had second thoughts.

"I just realized that I never did a pro/con list for CMC vs. Harvard," exclaimed Karina. "Maybe I should keep my options open and stay on the Harvard waitlist."

She immediately began contacting her Harvard friends to learn as much as she could about the quality of life, classes and friendships at Harvard. She drew up an extensive pro-con list. Most of the Pro-Harvard reasons revolved around the strength of the Harvard brand (which comes with an almost iron-clad lifetime warranty)compared to the unique, supportive yet outgoing culture at CMC.

"What if CMC doesn't live up to my expectations? What if it doesn't stretch me enough?" Karina bounced back and forth. "But then again, what if I disappoint people if I don't go to CMC after I told them I would?"

Mike and I sat up with Karina for hours, night after night, listening to her internal debate and offered our various thoughts and perspectives. Mike's sage advice was to "listen to your heart, and learn to soothe yourself." He was addressing the "relativity problem" that each of us faces in life. It goes like this: Why are my equally or less accomplished peers so much more successful? (however you define "success") Then you do a tailspin into self-doubt and depression until you can realize that what you have chosen to do follows your heart. You have to learn to listen to your heart and soothe yourself. So what if you are a Porsche idling at 35 mph on city streets--especially if that is precisely what makes you happy. Maybe being on city streets means that you get to spend more time with the people you love.

Just because Karina's "less equals" are getting into Harvard, doesn't mean that it's the best school for her. Stay tuned.