A Hierarchy of Intentions

Today I realized that we all have intentions, even Sarah the dog, but mine is often the weakest in the bunch. Are intentions the same as will? as determination? In our household, I often look for a compromise solution where everyone's intentions and desires can be satisfied. I love an elegant (and efficient) solution. But the downside is running the risk that no one person is wholly satisfied.

Most times, I don't mind subordinating my intentions to someone else's. Others can decide where to go, what to eat, it doesn't really matter to me as long as they are happy. Even Sarah gets into the act, dictating when and where she wants to walk on any given day. But it can be like a shouting match. The strongest brainbeam gets its way.

Because I've cultivated such an opinionated bunch, I've got to learn to exercise my brainbeam, too--or else I force myself to wait until everyone else is away. All it does is build resentment. Not good. Therefore, it's time to elbow my way back in.

So why is it that today I asked God for a sign about how to get things back together and I end up losing all of my appointment data on my palm pilot? I don't know where I've been or where I'm supposed to go. That has always been my biggest fear. Now here I am. OK, now what? I suppose if I deal with my biggest fear (and frustration), then the rest really doesn't matter. OK, so I'm a woman with no future and no past. It forces me to live in the present. AS nice as it sounds, I'm not sure that's practical.